Beginning Again

I’m going to give this one more chance.

Last year was excellent in many ways, and also really challenging. So far this year looks pretty good, though it’s early days yet. The challenging parts made me close up. I didn’t want to talk about it, but I couldn’t just write things and pretend nothing was happening. I still don’t want to talk about it, because it isn’t really my story to tell. But things are better and I feel better; more open, more like myself.

I didn’t think I was living in a way that fit here. I wasn’t growing better, just older and more stressed. I was just trying to get through things (which was taking a lot of energy), without much left over for personal progress and growth. Oddly enough, now that things have improved, I realize that I was learning. I was growing better, it was just in a way that was hard to recognize. I have learned some lessons (the hard way), and I’m ready to move forward. We’ll see how it goes.

In the spirit of moving forward, here are a couple of things I’m working on.

I’ve started my yoga home practice after two years of going to a local studio. Yoga has been one of the best things I’ve done in a long time – physically and mentally. I’ve wanted to start a home practice for quite a while, and it’s finally clicked for me. I’m not a bendy, trendy yogi – and I promise to spare you photos of me in leggings! I’m 56 and not so flexible any more, but hoping that will change.  Even if my physical flexibility doesn’t change, I am becoming a more flexible and conscious person. That’s a pretty cool thing.

This WILL be the year I begin to learn Italian. I can muddle through a little Spanish, I remember random words of high school French, but I feel a pull to Italy. I would love to be able to understand the country and culture in the way that you only do when you understand its language.

I’m trying to be more consciously connected to my family. I haven’t felt that for some time, and it’s not their fault. It’s hard to do that at times when you don’t even have energy for yourself.

These are the actions I’m taking right now to grow, change, maybe get a little better this year. I have no idea what else may come my way this year, and I can’t wait to find out.