Nope, I’m not depressed or being negative. It just seems that as the years pass, they go by more quickly and all in all are more similar than they were before. Maybe that’s because the kids are older/not home and not setting the pace for daily life anymore. There’s a similarity to my days and weeks that wasn’t here before. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just what is.
Until the new year, that is, when I begin to reflect on what I might want to accomplish with my blank slate of a year. I realize that the list is much the same as last year’s list, which I didn’t actually accomplish last year. There was some progress, but by no means were my goals accomplished. Some of it is predictable – lose weight or at least hold steady, be more active/get in shape, get my (insert body part here) healthy again, etc. Some of it is a little different – write the damned story, blog regularly, maintain a “normal” social life (a resolution sometimes heard in the somewhat introverted sector of the community).
It strikes me that, while I don’t make “resolutions” per se, I do have goals or hopes for each new year and as time passes, fewer “new years” in which to make these things happen. I could just stop – no resolutions, no goals, no hopes, but these are the things that will make my future years better. Certainly keeping weight in check, improving my level of activity and fitness, even doing my writing, will help me to grow older better than if I just sit on my ass and drink wine after dinner. Not bad in the moment, but perhaps a less than stellar approach over time to a fit and healthy older age for sure. I shall try to make this the year during which I make more concrete gains.
On a (slightly) different note, and speaking of one’s senior years, I recently went to see David Crosby in concert. I’ve seen him several times over the years, both back in the day and more recently, and I have to say that the show I saw in December was THE BEST ever. The man is 76 years old and put on a three hour show that would make ANY artist of any age proud. It was a trip through the catalog of greatest hits with other bands he’s been part of, and his own impressive body of solo work. His band is stellar, and he was funny, insightful, soulful, inspiring. His politics are the same. The voice has barely changed, and his passion for the work he does and the life he has lived was palpable. He appeared to be a passionate, happy, healthy (which is pretty amazing) and fulfilled man. I left feeling…inspired, nourished, charged with energy and enthusiasm. As I walked to my car, I remember thinking that I wanted to hold on to that mood, that feeling, forever. Some days it’s hard to do, but if I’m lucky I can turn on some music, take myself back to the night, and find that feeling for a bit. I want to grab it and let it steer me through the year – and the life – to come.
What do you do? How do you find inspiration for life, for growth?